My closets are outside the bedroom, in the hallway. The lights turn on when the switch is on the “off” position. And that top step is a bit wonky. But this is my first apartment ever, and I’m so fucking stoked it’s unreal.
me in other people's showers: what the fuck is going on
the-vashta-nerada: so yeah did you guys hear about the ceo of abercrombie and fitch who said that he doesn’t want ugly chicks wearing his clothing like excuse you ceo of abercrombie and fitch you look like gary busey went bobbing for apples in a tub of bees you couldn’t wear your own clothing
Everything changes when you start to emit your own frequency rather than...– Barbara Marciniak (via talisman)
paper-planes-and-toy-trains: you are my sunshine my only sunshine you make me happy when skies are gray you’ll never know dear how much i love you please dont take my sunshine away
napoleonbonapoptart: If you get me chipotle you will get chipotlaid
I wouldn't be afraid of spiders if I could just...
Me: Oh, hey whoa, this shower is occupied.
Spider: Omg man I didn't see you there.
Me: We cool?
Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.
Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey, you might wanna move over some--you're descending right into the shower stream and I don't want you to drown.
Spider: Hey thanks, bud. I'll be careful.
Me: So...can I get out now?
Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry I'll just move over here.
Me: Thanks. You have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom, okay?
Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening.
secretary: emmyc: neilcicierega: Never go on reddit omfg I love all the things this chooses to be.
It's google street view without the boring bits. →
emmugh: The Secret Door could take you anywhere in the world. Only unlike completely randomised websites that drop you in the middle of the Australian outback, it’s likely to take you somewhere really, really cool.
You remember too much, my mother said to me recently. Why hold onto all that?...– Anne Carson, from “The Glass Essay” (via creatingaquietmind)
xxunlovelyxx: pizzaforpresident: There should be a treadmill that plays movies and TV shows but if you slow down the audio goes out of sync by a whole second. Calm the fuck down satan
My face when my work phone rings at 9pm
Justin Timberlake makes an incredible album →
justintimberlakedoingthings: If you have iTunes, you can stream Justin’s new album, The 20/20 Experience. You will die and go to heaven and then fall back down into a fluffy bed of funky love pop. This man is worth the wait. Every. Single. Time.
Scumbag Brain: Wakes up early to accomplish everything on To-Do list. Convinces me to look up all my exes on Facebook before breakfast. Fuck.
When my jam comes on:
raspberrying: “What are your hobbies??? What do you do for fun? Do you play any sports??!?”