While pumping gas tonight a textbook crazy bag lady asked me for 27 cents. She didn’t want to walk “all the way home” for such a small amount of money. She had a box of cigarettes in her hand, so I know she had about 6 bucks a few minutes ago, but I didn’t want her to hex me, so I gave her exactly 27 cents. She comes back out and says she needed the change for a lottery ticket. “Write your name and phone number on this receipt,” she says. “If it does anything, I’m going to call you.”

I gave her a fake number.

In my imagination, we win a $10,000 Powerball prize.